To be good to you

It's been a busy day of running around and then running right back home to work some more. I've talked to two people that I've been separated from for way too long, and that was really nice. It's comforting to know that some relationships stay pretty steady, despite time and distance.

I had a strange night with a group of people that I meet up with regularly. While I really like all of them, some nights are more frustrating than others. There is a huge culture gap (we're talking galaxies of difference) with only similar pasts and some similar beliefs to make it work. They don't get my lifestyle at all, which makes relating and conversation a little difficult. I'm still trying to figure out my place in the dynamics of this group, because right now something just isn't working. That said, they are a group of really nice people that I appreciate having in my life and I want to make it work.

This is an interesting point in life. I am happier right now than I've been in a long time and things feel right and balanced. I have some amazingly supportive and challenging people around me that I am constantly thankful for. I tend to be (ahem) too independent, and this time of letting people help me has been both humbling and empowering. We were made to share, to give and take. This new and growing form of community has shown me the real beauty in a lifestyle shared with people on so many levels. I can't help but feel that, in the midst of the shift and the stress, something better and new has been shaped.

On a similar note, a friend really challenged me in a conversation recently. I have been accused of being "too nice" at times. I always thought that was a good thing and as a Christian, I saw selflessness as one of the best ways to show an honest love towards other people. That said, my definition of things like "nice" and "love" have changed and hardened over the past few years. There's this thing called reality that really kicks you in the face sometimes. We were kind of talking about all of this and, to paraphrase, she said: "You can't save them. It doesn't matter what you say or do, or how much you love them - they are going to do what they want to do. You have to release yourself from that responsibility right now. Some people have to hit rock bottom, and they will hurt you all the way down, so you need to decide right now that you aren't going to go down with them. Love them, support them, share their burdens, but don't pay for their choices." The day tough love just got tougher.

On a lighter note, I plan on being a certified yoga instructor by the end of this week AND I'm planning a roadtrip to see some of my favorite people who are miles away. Now if we could just get some heat around here...

*update* I am now a certified yoga instructor. Holla!