Don't make no

I'm currently sitting with a dog and blanket both up around my chin, typing in the dark, from the comfort of my couch. It's been a beautiful, almost perfect autumn day outside. The leaves are yellow and red, and the sky is gray and rolling. I met a friend for coffee today and the coffee shop played both The Smiths and Chris Isaac. I wanted to let them know that they could have saved themselves the effort of the good music - I was ready to offer them my firstborn at the mere sight of my latte.

Yesterday was not so beautiful or perfect. It started off well, dropping my car off and grabbing coffee. Not even the double shots of espresso could fend off the overwhelming fatigue that set in later that day. I feel like a wasted a whole day, tired and cranky, at home. On the bright side, I don't need a new engine. That's right. I've stayed in town for four very long months. I've missed some very important events, and all because a valve was blocked at some point and the light just needed to be reset. If I thought my car would survive another trip to Chicago, I would totally drive over there and unleash the fury of someone who has been trapped in town for four months

Shortly after getting the call that my car was beautiful and healthy, I started getting ready for the wedding. The outfit that I had picked out just wasn't working, and that was even before I realized that a majority of the people attending would be jean skirt sporting Pentecostal ladies. I went with a fallback respectable dress and we headed out towards the hills of Appalachia.

Three hours later, I was greeted by a woman that I have known my entire life. I've known her family, had sleepovers in her living room, and gone trick or treating with her kids. After four years of not seeing me, her first words:" So, are you datin' anybody?". I can't tell you how many times I was asked. I also got "ain't none", "done got it", "done went", "they can't be lesbians, they are too old", and "uh-oh, now I'm going to be in the blog" (sorry, you totally made it in the blog), and at one point, I found myself clarifying that I did not in fact marry a Christian rock star (nor did I know such a thing existed). I was exhausted by the time the wedding actually started.

If you grow up in a small town and then go to a Christian school, wedding season starts when you are 19 and continues, seemingly, forever. It's safe to say that I've been to an unnatural number of weddings in the past few years. I've been to some really awesome weddings, and some really sad weddings. I've been to enough weddings to know that I want to elope. Yesterday's wedding, for reasons I won't go into here, fell on the sad side. I think the couple is good for each other, and I think that's what matters here.

I found myself wishing I could show these people, who have known me for easily the majority of my life, how happy I was despite the lack of a ring. I wanted to whip out pictures of my friends! and apartment! and the cool places we hang out! But instead, the conversation ended and they moved on to see if my brother was living a more successful life. When I got home, my friends wanted to know how my day went. I told them I wanted to take a shower, which meant that it was good, and bad, and weird, and would never completely make sense to them. My two worlds do not make sense together. All of that to say that if you have a friend who seems to have good taste, but who also owns and quotes the movie Sweet Home Alabama, don't you dare judge her.

PS: I was once again reminded that I have an awesome family, and they totally make sense.