Thursday, December 11, 2008

I'm so glad you are doing that

By 8:58 this morning I had already heard about a noises of a runny nose (and the various ways of ridding the body of...congestion), the "benefits" of lotion (really not that creative), dry scalp issues, and a few other things that I will spare you. This is a normal day here. Add some eurotrash techno and you have an excellent reason to buy the nicest noise-reducing headphones you can find.

I've worked in two office that have the "casual workplace" attitude. I think it's great. I like wearing my Pumas on those rainy "blah" days. I like taking a break and taking a walk now and then. I think there's a lot to be said for a workplace that doesn't treat employees like they should sit silently, tied to their chairs (I've worked there, too, and died a little, I think). At this point, I don't even mind the progression towards inappropriate that tends to happen naturally. That said, lines need to be drawn, and I think that's a major fault in most casual offices. This week has been a great example. To help those who just aren't sure where the line is, I have compiled a list to follow. These are suggestions for anyone over the age of 13 who works:

1: Do not touch other people or their things.
2: Do not talk about STD's and then touch other people or their things.
3: Do not theatrically scratch your dry skin and then touch other people or their things.
4: Do do not hack your phlegm.
5: Do not hack your phlegm and then spit into your trash can.
6: "Did you get laid last night?" is not the same as "Good morning", especially if you are the boss.
7: Occasional name calling and nicknames happen. F*face is not really a nickname.
8: You shouldn't sleep on the floor. Or under your desk.
9: Do not bring in a stuffed cat. It makes pretty much everyone uncomfortable.
10: Do not talk about what STD you would be.
11: Do not talk about what STD you would be and then wink at a girl. That is not sexy.
12: The occasional personal call is needed. Twelve calls a day are not needed. Two-hour calls are not really needed, either(again, especially if you are the boss).
13: Certain topics regarding your spouse are off limits. These include: their plastic surgery, how you think they are cheating on you, how you are cheating on them, how long it has been since you slept with them.
14. Do not talk about how few hands/fingers it takes for you to get someone's bra off (especially if you are married, and the person is not your wife).

So, those are a few simple, pretty easy rules that hopefully help clarify the line. Feel free to leave a few rules of your own.


Kimmy said...

Ah Amanda... you've gone to the blogside. At one point I signed up for one of these, but haven't really used it. Nate went over about a year ago. I may join someday too... we'll see how yours goes first :)

Kimmy said...

That last comment was from Kimmy (in case it didn't say that). This one is too for that matter.

Stephanie Lynn said...

reading this made me very grateful for our ethos statement... although somedays I think I would give anything to be able to dress casual.

Adam Something said...

How about talking about your stuffed cat that cheated on you after getting plastic surgery?

Nah, that would be silly.

But, I got scolded once at work for whistling happily to myself.

That was a bummer.

Pratt said...

I am sorry my friend but i may have to disagree on the stuffed cat rule. If one of my coworkers were to bring in a stuffed cat i would place it on my lap and pet it all day.

that is way too weird isn't it?
I should delete that..

From personal experience these work well:

believe_in_magic said...

I also don't know about the stuffed cat rule. One of the admin ladies at my office has this seriously realistic one that purrs and growls and acts just like a real cat when you pet it or hold it or even ignore it! So we try to confiscate it and play with it as much as possible...
Oh, and what is the rule for real pets? Our company president brings his puppy to visit sometimes...Everyone works harder and faster on puppy days!

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